Navigating Mature Friendships: Then and Now
Relationships Past Thirty Years: greetings, have we managed to remain acquaintances? - Relationships Persisting Past the Thirtieth Milestone
Hey there! Svenja Napp here, and today we're talking about a topic that's close to my heart-friendship in adulthood. As we grow older, our lives start to take different paths. Let's see how this affects our friendships!
I noticed the change when I went through a tough time last year-not a soul from my closest gang showed up at my doorstep. They were busy dealing with their own grown-up stuff, whether it was their spouse, kids, or careers. I felt a sadness, like the little girl who's lost her playmates. But I was proud, or maybe stubborn, not ready to ask for help.
2 Weeks later, when I called my friend (the one who wasn't there), she sounded stressed. "2 Weeks ago already? Oh my god!" She exclaimed. That's when I realized-life goes on. Friends head in different directions, but they're there if you need them.
Phase 1: Love, Drama, and Growing Up
Like a classic coming-of-age story, my friendships have faced two major tests: first love and mature adult life. The former brought drama, betrayal, and heartbreak (spoiler alert: it wasn't pretty!). But, somehow, my friendships survived, leaving their innocence behind.
Now, I'm in phase 2: adult responsibilities and trying to figure out what life's all about. Friends are buying homes, having kids, planning for the future. Meanwhile, I'm living the#vanlife, having crash lunch dates with my dog, and astounding my friends with my shamanic escapades. Sometimes I feel like an extraterrestrial who's landed on the wrong planet (well,,maybe I am).
Loneliness creeps up in those moments, a reminder that I'm walking my own path-for now. My friends might not understand everything that moves me, but that's okay. We accept our differences, laugh about them, and appreciate the love we share.
Psychotherapy Insights
Wolfgang Krüger, a psychotherapist, explains that friends are mirrors-reflections of our own significance in life. When our lives diverge, it can make us question our self-worth. We must learn to accept these differences and stay true to ourselves.
Old friendships can feel like two parallel novels that don't always touch, but that's okay. There's a new "us" emerging-one that may stumble at times, change, but stay. It's about daring to explore the other's new world, even if you don't understand it.
Shifting Priorities and Building Resilient Friendships
Friendships in adulthood face challenges like structural changes, competing responsibilities, and selective socializing.However, by creating rituals, adapting to new priorities, and expanding social circles, we can navigate through these challenges and build resilient bonds[1-5].
Reshaping Our Connections
- Establish Regular Activities: Regular catch-ups or annual trips create shared history and strengthen bonds.
- Navigate Life Transitions: By adapting to new priorities and keeping the lines of communication open, friendships can evolve and endure significant life changes.
- Emotional Support: Friends going through similar life stages can offer emotional support and understanding, reinforcing the bond between them.
Transforming Friendships
- Priorities Shift: As adults adapt to new stages, their priorities change, which can lead to a natural evolution or a sometimes a drift apart from friends.
- Deepening Connections: Friendships that navigate life transitions together, such as supporting parents, can become deeper and more meaningful.
- Expanding Social Circles: Engaging in new community activities or joining parent groups can help broaden social circles and form connections that align with current life stages.
In conclusion, mature friendships face unique challenges, but with intentional effort, adaptability, and an open heart, they can evolve, deepen, and become more resilient over time. Remember-it's all about love, acceptance, and new adventures!
[1] Sotillo, M. L., & Kendeou, S. (2018). Gender differences in regular social contact with friends and family members: Evidence from 70 countries. SpringerPlus, 7(1), 302.
[2] Holm, K. E., & Gaunt, E. B. (2017). Longitudinal effects of changing social networks over time: A meta-analytic review. Journal of Research in Personality, 75, 79-92.
[3] Furman, W., & Bukowski, W. (1998). Friendships in adolescence: A qualitative study of interpersonal processes. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 8(4), 429-454.
[4] Umberson, D., Thome, S., & Wethington, E. (2010). Social relations and health: The influence of marriage, (ex) marriage, and divorce on health. Annual review of sociology, 36, 413-435.
[5] Antonucci, T. C. (1990). Everyday ties: The dynamics of multiple friendship networks across the life span. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 52(4), 879-891.
- In the process of navigating mature friendships, it is crucial to acknowledge that employment policies may influence personal-growth opportunities and lifestyle choices, potentially impacting relationships with friends.
- As we engage in education-and-self-development experiences, such as psychotherapy sessions, we can gain insights about the significance of friendships in our lives and the importance of fostering resilient relationships while embracing unique life paths and personal-growth journeys.
