Parental characteristics linked to remarkable emotional resilience: Neuroscience finds these specific phrases indicate a robust emotional capacity.
Emotionally resilient children are high on every parent's wish list. With the ability to withstand challenges and thrive, these kids are what all good parents strive to raise. Yet, how does one go about fostering emotional resilience in their child?
When it comes to breeding emotional resilience, there's a secret that a neuroscience expert revealed on TikTok—it's all about your parents. In a video for Cover Three, this brain health supplement company guru spilled the beans on the secret of being emotionally resilient.
The secret to being emotionally resilient? Firm and kind parents.
So, what does it take to be an emotionally resilient kid? According to this expert, two words describe the parents of the most emotionally resilient individuals: firm and kind.
"Neuroscience fact," he began. "Spoiled rotten isn't the play. The most emotionally resilient children have parents that mastered two words: firm and kind. I'll explain the neuroscience behind this and what you can do about it."
Let's break down these words. Instead of allowing children to do whatever they want (spoiling them rotten), the expert emphasizes the importance of kindness, but only when combined with firmness.
"When you're firm, without kindness, their amyggdalas go into threat mode like a smoke detector that just won't stop beeping," he explained. On the other hand, when you're kind but not firm, their prefrontal cortices never learn boundaries, making them like a GPS with no destination.
Striking the right balance is essential—parents shouldCombining kindness with firmness creates a sense of safety and security, which communicates to children that they are loved and cared for but also that they can't just do whatever they want. It helps them learn boundaries and build resilience as a result.
Keep it balanced: a model coach
Using the analogy of an athletic coach, the expert pointed out that the best coaches notice what their players do right and offer constructive criticism when needed, rather than only pointing out their mistakes. This balance is precisely what parents should aim for.
"Parents, you're not just managing their behavior for today, you're literally wiring their brain for lifelong resilience," he shared. "Here's an example. Set the boundary with love, not anger. 'We don't hit, and I'm here to help you when you're frustrated.'"
Instead of yelling at their child for hitting and focusing only on the negative behavior, parents can offer support and encouragement, helping their child to do better and be better.
A lifelong investment
It's no wonder that building emotional resilience begins in childhood. Emotional resilience doesn't just happen automatically; instead, it takes intentional work. With parents who are both firm and kind, this work can start early in life.
However, if your parents didn't possess these qualities, don't worry: anyone can develop emotional resilience. According to the American Psychological Association, the key is to focus on four core components: connection, wellness, healthy thinking, and meaning. This can include pursuing goals, joining a new group, practicing self-care, and maintaining a positive mindset.
Building emotional resilience is a lifelong investment. But with the right guidance, support, and mindset, anyone can develop the emotional resilience they need to thrive in the face of adversity.
- The secret to fostering emotional resilience in children, according to a neuroscience expert, lies in being firm and kind as a parent.
- Being kind without firmness leaves children without learning boundaries, much like a GPS with no destination.
- Conversely, being firm without kindness sends children's amyggdala into threat mode, similar to a constantly beeping smoke detector.
- To strike the balance, parents should combine kindness with firmness, communicating to children that they are loved and cared for, yet also setting boundaries for their behavior.
- Building emotional resilience is an intentional and lifelong investment, achieved through focusing on core components like connection, wellness, healthy thinking, and meaning.
