Neglected Element in Personal Well-being: A Facet You Might Be Ignoring
In the hustle and bustle of modern life, each person has 110 hours a week after accounting for sleep and work. But how we choose to spend this time can significantly impact our mental and emotional wellbeing.
The concept of becoming like the five people we spend the most time with has been popularized in the self-help world by motivational speaker Jim Rohn. Viewing the selection of who we spend our time with as a form of self-care can make us more deliberate with our choices and time.
Science and psychology have both supported and refuted this idea, but one thing remains clear: choosing to surround ourselves with key people who provide different types of support is essential for self-care.
These key types of people include family and close friends who offer emotional support, providing empathy, care, and reassurance. They help validate our feelings and reduce stress and anxiety by making us feel truly supported.
Trusted individuals who provide practical (instrumental) support, such as help with daily tasks or transportation, alleviate burdens and create space for rest and recovery. Mentors or advisors offering informational support help us navigate challenges with guidance and advice, contributing to resilience and confidence in facing life’s difficulties.
People who allow us to ask for and accept care, recognizing that receiving care is part of self-care, deepen trust and connection, benefiting both us and those who care for us through positive neurochemical effects like increased dopamine and oxytocin.
Individuals with whom we can engage in meaningful, honest self-reflection and communication help us understand and express our emotions clearly and empathetically, aligning our actions with our core values.
After accounting for necessary tasks, one is left with 55 hours a week for leisure activities and other pursuits. Who we choose to spend these hours with is a significant declaration of what matters to us.
Jane Scudder, a certified leadership and personal development coach, helps individuals and groups get unstuck. She builds and leads original workshops and training programs, consults with organizations of various sizes, and is Adjunct Faculty at Loyola University Chicago.
Our website articles are grounded in scientific research and evidence-based practices, extensively reviewed by a team of clinical experts to ensure content is accurate and on par with current industry standards. They are written by experienced mental health-wellness contributors with the goal of providing the most up-to-date, valuable, and objective information on mental health-related topics to help readers make informed decisions.
Whether five years ago or today, our free time was likely spent with different people. However, self-care is centered on choices, and considering who and how we choose to spend our time can be seen as an act of self-care. Regardless of whether the concept of becoming like the five people we spend the most time with is accurate, it is clear that we are making a choice to spend our time with the people we choose.
Life is about choices, including choices related to self-care. By surrounding ourselves with key people who emotionally validate us, offer practical assistance, provide thoughtful guidance, and allow mutual care and vulnerability, we can transform our social time into an intentional self-care act.
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- Cultivating relationships that offer emotional validation, practical assistance, guidance, and mutual care can transform leisure time into a form of self-care, impacting mental health.
- Choosing to surround oneself with trusted individuals who provide different types of support, such as family, friends, mentors, and peers, contributes to self-care and personal growth in various aspects, including emotional, practical, and informational support.
- Engaging with individuals who allow and accept care, offering self-reflection, communication, and the sharing of core values, can lead to a deeper understanding of oneself and a more intentional approach to spending free time, promoting overall wellbeing.
