Mourning a Departed Mother: Strategies for Daughters to Cope
In the aftermath of losing a mother, young adults may find themselves grappling with feelings of depression and a compromised sense of self, according to a 2021 study. This is a common experience, and it's essential to acknowledge and address these emotions to begin the healing process.
Grief that significantly impairs your daily functioning or persists for longer than a year may require the support of a mental health professional. The American Psychological Association's Psychologist Locator can help find a specialist in grief recovery.
Women, in particular, may experience grief differently than men, potentially leading to feelings of loss and disconnection from those closest to them. Common psychological effects of grief in women include deep sadness, ambivalence, feelings of guilt, anger, and the difficult process of separating emotionally from the mother. These emotions often leave long-lasting emotional wounds and trauma symptoms.
Losing a mother can mean a loss of an important part of your support system. You may also experience regret for lost family traditions and cultural knowledge. Honoring a mother's memory can take various forms, such as donating to her favourite charity or achieving a personal goal she always wanted. Focusing on happy reminders such as pictures, books, or keepsakes can provide comfort during the grieving process.
Relationships within your family may become strained after the loss of a mother. It's crucial to communicate openly and seek support from loved ones during this challenging time. Offering your own maternal support to others who have experienced parental loss can become an important part of their journey with grief.
Grief has been linked to increased chances of cancer, cardiac issues, immune disorders, and high blood pressure, according to a study. If extreme grief persists for more than a year or interferes with daily tasks, speaking with a mental health professional may be helpful.
Books like 'Healing After the Loss of Your Mother: A Grief & Comfort Manual', 'Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss', and 'How to Survive the Loss of a Parent: A Guide for Adults' can provide assistance during the grieving process. Local support groups, online chat forums, and mental health professionals can also offer valuable support.
If you're feeling overwhelmed and considering self-harm or suicide, help is available right now. You can reach out to the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, Crisis Text Line, or Befrienders Worldwide. Remember, it's okay to ask for help, and it's essential to prioritise your mental health during this difficult time.
Mindfulness, the ability to focus on the moment and not follow thoughts down an emotional path, can help when recalling painful memories related to the loss of a mother. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed.) lists regret, remorse, anxiety, guilt, emptiness, rage, anger, sadness, and numbness as normal emotions in the year following parental loss.
As you navigate your grief, remember that it's a personal and unique journey. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and it's essential to be patient and compassionate with yourself. With time, support, and self-care, you can find a way to honour your mother's memory and move forward.
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