Maturity in long-term partnerships leads to specific behaviors: 5 Actions Couples May Adopt After Achieving Maturity to Make Wiser Choices
Materialism, the emphasis on possessions and wealth as the key to happiness, can have a profound effect on marital satisfaction, according to a wealth of research.
One study from the Relate Institute found that materialistic couples experience unhappier marriages compared to those who place less importance on possessions [1]. This research, based on 1,734 married couples and collected online questionnaires, suggests that materialism acts as a family stressor that weakens marital bonds.
The reasons for this are manifold. Materialistic values often disrupt communication and emotional intimacy, fostering stress and conflict within marriages. Higher materialism is linked to weaker family relationships, frequent parental comparisons, and greater psychological distress, all of which contribute to reduced marital quality [1].
Moreover, sharing feelings and vulnerabilities builds trust and creates a safe space for emotional expression, leading to increased closeness and connection. A 2017 study explained that this emotional connection is crucial in creating a strong bond between partners [2]. Mature love, particularly companionate love, is strongly associated with higher levels of emotional well-being and relationship satisfaction in older couples [4].
On the other hand, Dr. Phil once said, "If you marry for money, you earn every bit of it." However, Dr. Carroll, a professor of family life at Brigham Young University, stated that if you are materialistic, you will have a happier marriage if you find someone who isn't [5].
Research also indicates that couples with higher average companionship experience less negative affect, more positive affect, and greater closeness [6]. Taking your partner to dinner or spending extra time with them can remind them that they are more important to you than money [3].
In summary, the key factors through which materialism contributes to unhappier marriages are weaker emotional and family relationships due to a materialistic value focus, increased psychological distress caused by social and parental comparisons, and reduced authentic connection and communication within couples, resulting in reduced marital satisfaction [1].
Teaching your children early to value life rather than material possessions is very important. As psychotherapist, author, speaker, and intimacy counselor, Mary Jo Rapini, reminds us, "We all like nice things, but when they are valued more than our loved ones, it becomes a downhill ride, and you usually end up at the bottom alone."
To maintain a healthy and satisfying marriage, it's essential to prioritise emotional connection over material possessions. Shutting all communication off on one day a week that is sacred to families can help foster this emotional connection. Remember, love is a gift, not something you will get paid for. Balance is crucial, and at times when work will be consuming a lot of your time, telling your partner in advance can help them mentally prepare [7].
- Materialism, with its focus on possessions and wealth, can lead to less satisfying marriages, as suggested by a study from the Relate Institute involving 1,734 married couples.
- Materialistic values can strain communication and emotional intimacy within marriages, leading to increased stress and conflict.
- Emotional connection is crucial in creating a strong bond between partners, for instance through sharing feelings and vulnerabilities, as explained in a 2017 study.
- Dr. Carroll, a professor of family life at Brigham Young University, stated that if you are materialistic, you will have a happier marriage if you find someone who isn't.
- To maintain a healthy and satisfying marriage, it's essential to prioritize emotional connection over material possessions, and setting aside a sacred family day for communication can help foster this connection.
- It's essential to teach children early to value life over material possessions, as if valued more, it can lead to a downhill ride, ending up alone, according to psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini.
- Love is a gift that cannot be measured in terms of personal finance or material possessions, but requires balance and prioritization of emotional connection to thrive.
