Dual-Aspect Union Seeks Non-Monogamous Relationship
In the Life and Style section of a renowned website, an advice column by banker Jeremy Baer and clinical psychologist Dr. Margarit Holmes provides guidance to a 37-year-old individual named Gil, who is seeking advice about a unique relationship predicament.
Gil is in a relationship with an Australian gentleman who proposes an open relationship. This proposal, according to the advice column, might be seen as a business proposition by some, and it is not considered a declaration of unconditional love. The gentleman, who has four children from two previous marriages, offers Gil the choice of living in Australia or Manila.
The importance of loyalty in a relationship, the column explains, heavily depends on the emotional security and mutual trust between partners. An open relationship, therefore, would only be acceptable if both partners are comfortable with and want it. The column emphasises that both parties must fully understand and accept the implications of such an arrangement.
The columnist expresses concern about the Australian gentleman's negotiation skills in the proposal and suggests that sacrificing oneself to make family happy is not wise. The columnist also advises Gil to consider her own feelings about the relationship and whether she is prepared to marry for the sake of her family's wishes.
The columnist encourages Gil to tell her family the truth about the Australian gentleman's conditions for marriage and express her own desire for an exclusive relationship. The columnist also implies that only desperate women might consider such a proposal and expresses hope that Gil realises she is far from desperate.
The concept of hedonic adaptation is mentioned, which states that no matter what happens, people will return to their baseline of happiness over time. A study titled 'Lottery winners and accident victims: is happiness relative?' published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology in August, 1978, supports this idea.
Jeremy Baer, the columnist, holds a master's degree in law from Oxford University and has 37 years of experience working on three continents. Dr. Holmes, his co-author, has co-authored two books: 'Love Triangles: Understanding the Macho-Mistress Mentality' and 'Imported Love: Filipino-Foreign Liaisons.'
The column's advice to Gil, in essence, is to prioritise her own happiness and emotional well-being in the relationship. Being happy alone, the column suggests, might be better than being married to someone who doesn't understand or appreciate her. The column concludes by emphasising the importance of open communication, self-awareness, and self-respect in navigating complex romantic relationships.
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